Death Avoidance and Funeral Directors
Historically, few cultures have tried to cope with death without ritual or without the body present. This demonstrates the basic human need for these practices. But many modern societies are experiencing pressures to eliminate viewing and the funeral. We're a death-denying culture. Death is unpleasant…let's avoid it. Anyone who wouldn't avoid it, like a funeral director, must be a ghoulish rip-off artist. That's an easy theme for a tabloid TV segment, at least. Actually, of course, there are some funeral directors who are unscrupulous, or who are unskilled at embalming and cosmetology…just as there are unscrupulous and unskilled people in every vocation. The majority, however, are not this way. They have come to this field either because other members of their family have been funeral directors or because they have had an experience with death which has shown them how much a caring person can do at a time of loss. Repeated studies have shown funeral directors rank very high in terms of the public's perception of their trustworthiness vs. other professions. Apparently, people enjoy the cheap "exposés," but they also know who they can trust when the chips are down.

Here's What I Want for My Funeral
In previous times, death was less hidden away; now it happens in hospitals and nursing homes. People encountered more deaths in their lifetimes. Now we ridicule and resent rituals, a convenient defense against the responsibility of sharing difficult life experiences. The better educated we are, the more we claim a ceremony surrounding the death of a loved one is unsophisticated. Misguidedly we tell our offspring, "Don't fuss over me. Just cremate me and save your money." We think we're making things "convenient" for our loved ones in this way. We even draw up pre-need funeral plans, forcing these austere measures on people who love us. We have the selfishness to forget we won't care in the least after we've died, and that the funeral is for the living! Grief is not an enemy to be avoided; it's an inevitable process to be lived through.