The Key to a Valuable Funeral
You have the power to maximize or minimize how good the funeral ritual will be for you and your family; just remember the word "personalize." If your funeral director or clergyperson resists you, find another funeral director or clergyperson. You should be able to feel, "Mother would have loved the interior I selected for that casket." You should play music special to you and your loved one. Have everyone bring photographs and other personal items too. Be sure your funeral director is prepared to help you display these things. Have people close to you and your loved one say a few words; this can be very meaningful for them and for the listeners. And by all means don't let the primary speaker go through his or her presentation with only a few references to the person who has died. You want to hear their name, and you want to hear it often. If the speaker didn't know the deceased well, get together and give them stories, descriptions…the material they need to give you what you need. Don't be fashionable; don't be afraid. Have your grief, and have your ritual.

Read on for a layman's explanation of the embalming process.